Friday, November 14, 2008

A peek into the life of Simba

It's not easy being a world-famous lion. Once the rush of movie stardom ends, some kid throws you in a garage sale where somebody buys you for a buck and says, "Hey, my dogs would like this."

So, here we find you, Simba, on an October morning, sunning in the grass. Neglected like so many other of Loki and Thor's stuffed toys. You've been dropped, stepped on, rained on and mostly dried out. But you're a lion and you like the outdoors. If only you'd been dropped in that tall grass, right? Better to hunt from.

Then, after several days of laying in the backyard, you get picked up and sent on a dangerous voyage through the washer and dryer, where several weaker toys have met their doom. But you survive this trip and arrive safely to the shelter of the toy bin in the family room, clean and sweet-smelling.

Later in the week, we find you laying around in the dining room, then in the guest bedroom, sadly neglected again. Or perhaps you're just too lazy to walk yourself back to the toy bin today?

What's this? Thor is actually playing with you in the bedroom? Is that comfortable, being held by your face?

Oh wait, now I see why you don't like the toy bin. There a giant snake trying to eat you! Oh no!

Then you disappear for another week. I begin to think that maybe the snake finished you off, but then where do we eventually find you? Outside again! Sunbathing after playing in the rain with the other stuffed toys.

So it's once more through the wash-and-dry cycle, then safely into the toy bin, to be abused enjoyed another day. There's no sign of that snake this time.

By the way, your eyeballs are looking kind of faded. Did you know that? At least you still have eyeballs. You should have seen what happened to the first Simba. It wasn't pretty. Go talk to Mousie, he'll give you an idea.

Note: I don't really have conversations with stuffed toys. Stalk them with my camera for a few weeks? Yes. But have a conversation?No. At least, they haven't started answering my questions yet. When they do, that's when you should start getting worried. :)


  1. I love it! You completely reminded me of last night's Grey's Anatomy episode for reasons I will not divulge but it didn't have anything to do with stuffed animals.

    Oh I can't wait to get home so I can stumble this story!

  2. Stuffed toys can make great conversation partners. At least that's what the tiny penguin tells me...

  3. I bring stuffed toys home just to see how long they will last. Any squeaky parts are usually the first to go, then the eyes, then the ears, then the stuffing. Dismemberment usually takes no more than 15 minutes.

    The last stuffed toy, a llama is an unrecognizable piece of woolly fabric that our dog now finds to be an acceptable plaything.

  4. I like your documentary/ conversation with stuffed Simbas. :)

  5. @fragileheart -- So what happened on Grey's Anatomy?!?! And thanks for the Stumble!

    @Travis -- Thanks!

    @Cromely -- Ah, that's right. Say hello to the little guy for me. :)

    @Periapex -- The way our toybox is overflowing, I wish Loki and Thor would dismember a few. It happens every once in a while, but it's more of a slow torturous death, spread over many weeks.

    @Laura -- Thanks! I'll have to remember to update Simba's story this winter with perhaps a nice photo of him frozen into a snow bank. :)


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