Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Another scary Ren Faire experience

I was feeling brave. I'd survived my trip onstage with MooNiE. I'd even gotten in front of dozens of people at Vegetable Justice and tried to throw tomatoes at a man while he insulted me (didn't hit him though... would have liked to!) Now we were near the end of our day at the Bristol Renaissance Faire, and my girlfriend's 16-year-old daughter wanted me to try the Pirate's Assault Catapult.

Combine a trampoline, a harness and bungee chords. Get in the harness and jump as high as you can on the trampoline with the bungee chords giving you extra lift. That's the Pirate's Assault Catapult.

There's not an amusement park ride that scares me, I boldly think. I'm within the weight limits (barely). So what if I'm wearing a skirt (they have a system to deal with that)? So what if I'm the only adult in line (I do care, but my friend's daughter doesn't want to go alone)? OK, I'm in.

They help me into the harness. They rig up a big towel like a diaper to preserve my modesty (lots of younger girls are wearing them, too... that doesn't help, it still looks like a diaper...). As I wait, a girl across the way does flips on the trampoline. My husband, Dave, tells me that I'll be able to do flips like that. Sure, I think. OK.

They strap me into the bungee chords, then tell me to start jumping. It takes a few jumps to get going, then I finally get to the top height.

Oh my god. Is that my stomach I just felt drop?

Next jump. Oh my god. Am I going to survive this?

Next jump. Oh my god. Don't get sick. Please don't get sick.

A few jumps later. Maybe I'll survive this. I'm not sure. I still feel sick.

Next jump. Is that Dave telling me to flip? No way! I'm barely holding it together.

A few jumps later. Really Dave. I'm not going to flip. You have no idea...

A few jumps later. "I can hear you Dave." There, I talked!

A few jumps later. OK maybe I'll try a flip. Maybe. On the next one. Or two...

A few jumps later. "Next one" I tell the worker.

Next jump. I make it half way over.

Next jump. I flip! Cool!

Next jump. Another flip. I think I crack a smile.

"Last one" the worker tells me. OK. Flip again. Definitely smile.

Then it was over. I was ecstatic. I'd flipped. I'd looked ridiculous as hell in my diaper. Most importantly -- I'd kept my lunch down. Just barely. :-) Ironic enough, it was scarier than getting onstage with MooNiE had been.

Update 2-21-08: I should have credited Wook with taking the photos. (Sorry Wook.) The top one shows me and my friend's daughter. The bottom one shows two other people, one of them flipping.

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